Dear Facebook
I am writing to express my utmost disappointment at your message filtering system's abysmal standards of incompetence.
Unearthing this compelling invitation from the deepest recesses of my
inbox has been immeasurably distressing. I believe many others have been
similarly encumbered by your integrated electronic communications
technology.
Upon my sudden
cognizance
that I had inadvertently forfeited an inconceivable
opportunity to attend the Southeast Asia premiere of X-Men: Days of Future Past from Twentieth Century Fox Singapore, my amygdala was overwhlemed with anguish.
I am an entertainment-obsessed teenager and a comic book aficionado. To pass up this momentous occasion to meet Hugh Jackman, Fan Bingbing and Peter Dinklage in the flesh, and possibly take a #selfie with them is a reprehensible blunder.
This is not to mention the fact that I X-Men: Days of Future Past went
on to become the third-highest grossing movie at the box office in 2014.
I would only like to make a single esteemed appeal to you: please
refine your message filtering system or abolish it tout de suite.
To the general public, I implore you to check your secondary Facebook
inbox if you have been oblivious of its existence by clicking on "See
All Messages" and "Others" to ascertain if you may have fortuitously won
any contests.
I had bid farewell to my other time-squandering companion, Twitter
in early 2012. Despite choosing you in favour of her, I believe that
she did not keep my DMs away from me wrongfully. She was wise enough to
know what was right for me and what was not.
However, I feel that it may be high time to Add her as a Friend again and Unfriend you if our quandaries are not resolved.
Yours sincerely,
XDantheManX